Ill get my dog Rover, Your limericks are humorous and smart and just the right amount of naughty. I love limericks, I am always making them up, nell. President Joe Biden plans to spend Thanksgiving with his family in Nantucket, a small island off the coast of Cape Cod, Massachusetts, and the inspiration for a limerick that dates back to at. / He set out one day / In a relative way / And returned on the previous night. Nell Rose (author) from England on August 25, 2012: Hi rcrumple, yes I do look good in leather! There once was a man from Nantucket / Who kept all his cash in a bucket / His daughter, named Nan / Ran away with a man / And as for the bucket, Nantucket. There once was a man from Nantucket Whose cock was so long he could suck it He said with a grin Wiping sperm from his chin If my ear was a cunt I could Fuck it! (A) Da da dum da da dum da da dum. Not rounded and pink, To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. These are a bit saucy and not safe for kids, just the way it should be on this website! Or you could try some of these funny poems instead. Whether this is true or not, they have certainly been vulgarised today. Some believe that limericks were originally made to be naughty. Alas, the bucket was found haha! I've built a little API-as-a-Service platform that makes it easy to create an API and deploy it to a private cloud. ----- There once was a . 0 coins. You can have six inches more! Cruz responded by reciting the opening line of an infamous dirty limerick that utilizes certain phrases which rhyme with "Nantucket." Earlier this year, as Cruz's state of Texas faced devastating winter storms that decimated its independent power grid, the Senator flew to sunny Cancn, Mexico as hundreds of his constituents froze to death. The incredible Wizard of Oz / Retired from his business because / Due to up-to-date science / To most of his clients / He wasnt the Wizard he was. Shyron E Shenko from Texas on March 11, 2017: LOL, these are so funny Nell. So easy you can use a spreadsheet and launch it in less than 5 minutes. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Chicago Tribune Funny Jokes; Top Rated; Most Discussed. He stumped bare down the lane. There was a young lady of Louth, Who returned from a trip in the South; Her father said: 'Nelly, There's more in your belly. :-) They are so fun to read, but also fun to write. lol thanks so much nell. And the cash that it held caused a row, There was a young lady whose chin / Resembled the point of a pin / So she had it made sharp / And purchased a harp / And played several tunes with her chin. I am going to forward this to my brother-in-law, 'cause I know he will get a kick out of it! These were so fun! haha! Whose prick was so long he could suck it. Just need some Irish beer. There was once a young girl who said: Why / Cant I look in my ear with my eye? Whose Rod was so long it bent. The book was a huge success, not only makingthe authorpopular, but also boosting the limerick into popular culture across the world. He had room for his ass and a gallon of gas but his balls fell out and he lost em! Out the window, the bucket, you chuck it. Knock Knock Who's there! The clothes she would wear, Would make people stare, She became a phenomenon. Funny limericks have been embraced by many countries around the world, but they have a special place in Irish culture. I do wish I could write limericks. His daughter, named Nan, Ran away with a man. The protagonist in the obscene versions is typically portrayed as well-endowed and hypersexualized. Some old skool bad jokes and limericks from when I was a kid. These (above the belt) mixture of limericks of English drunkards with the (sober? Funny stuff! When the owner saw Pa Did she think on that bucket Your email address will not be published. There once was a man from Nantucket would turn into a staple of American humor, featuring on TV shows like The Simpsons, Suits, Hey Arnold! Great stuff! Thanks to those who have contributed theirs, more are always welcome a they are very good. Lori Colbo from United States on September 21, 2011: Nell Rose (author) from England on September 09, 2011: Hi, Dustin, appreciate it! but I love the little ditty! There once was a man from Nantucket Who kept all his cash in a bucket. There once was a man from Nantucket Who kept all his cash in a bucket He has a daughter named Nan Who ran away with a man And as for the bucket, Nan tuck it romulusnr 7 yr. ago I DVed but then found out that you might be right. Hed both seen and heard; but sorry I will have to take it off because its a bit naughty! Read up on even more bad jokes youll just have to laugh at. You can use there once was a Girl from Nantucket in several social situations. Nell Rose (author) from England on May 11, 2020: Umesh Chandra Bhatt from Kharghar, Navi Mumbai, India on May 10, 2020: A nice collection. You certainly know how to put the words together to make witty tales! He sent Nan home, with a plan, to Nantucket. This got her pants wet, Which made her upset, And when it was cold she would freeze. This particular limerick became popular blue comedy in 1902 when it was first published by Prof. Dayton Voorhees in Princeton Tiger. Demas W Jasper from Today's America and The World Beyond on April 03, 2020: Nell Rose (author) from England on April 03, 2020: Hiya Paula, it must be really hard for you too, its pretty strange over here. These are great and very saucy. Mohan Kumar from UK on December 22, 2010: Thanks for the laughs. Thanks Lizzy! thanks for the read, cheers nell. and now he sells honey, Kevin Foley , Vienna, Austria, A birdwatching Brit. A long time ago meaning | Common English Idioms #shorts. Nell Rose (author) from England on November 24, 2010: Hi, saleheen, I am so glad you found it amusing, it is good when you can have a laugh, especially if you are feeling down, thanks so much nell. There once was a man from NantucketWho kept all his cash in a bucket.But his daughter, named Nan,Ran away with a manAnd as for the bucket, Nantucket. Here's a Limerick that I heard in college from a music major. Confused? This town is one of the settings from the famous book Moby Dick, and in the 19th century, it was the whaling capital of the world. . Nell Rose (author) from England on February 17, 2017: LOL! There once was a man from Bel Air Who was doing his wife on the stair But the banister broke So he doubled his stroke And finished her off in mid-air. Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet, Her clothes all tattered and torn. There once was a girl from Nantucket is the first line from a limerick about a girl who couldnt pay her fare, so she provided a sexual favour instead. Ask A.I your English Vocabulary questions! By carrying her stash Good judgment and tacked, Nell Rose (author) from England on October 23, 2015: lol! Nell Rose (author) from England on April 29, 2012: Hi Larry, haha! But his daughter, named Nan, Ran away with a man And as for the bucket, Nantucket. But this year theycame up a little dry and given today is all about having a bit of a laugh we had to reach deep into the archives forsomething a little different. A few years ago, Yesterdays Island began to encourage readers to continue the saga. NFL . For since he was lam But of course, don't you know, the gentility is but a mask, and the funniest jokes are off-color! And the other was big and won prizes. According to language experts, the use of the limerick extends back to the late 18th century. It was winter, alas. Great treat to read them. Nell Rose (author) from England on December 22, 2010: Hi, Docmo, ha ha glad you liked it, and thanks nell. hb```Y@($$t`SSW%)l+2^`S q[Gty3gfx|:\,goqRW$VP e0x>G9?\d(p7GvB @W >` @d Ip(#uvfia QAA91uG2`\h.l% {]}_4-Ph0 aD 0 Gfc Jane Gill-Shaler, North Carolina, The man built their home in Alaska, Send the limericks to us at P.O. Then, it was based upon a well-endowed man. After about 15 minutes, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". There once was a girl named Irene / Who lived on distilled kerosene / But she started absorbing / A new hydrocarbon / And since then has never benzene. You may recall learning about limericks (or even writing a few of your own) in grade school. Peter Chubb, Aldeburgh, Suffolk, England, Pa went back to Nantucket, There was a young girl named Sapphire Who succumbed to her lover's desire. Patrick McKeon, Princeton, NJ, Pa said, Nan, about the bucket: We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. jamiecoins from ireland on March 15, 2011: Nell Rose (author) from England on February 01, 2011: Hi, NLL, glad you liked it! To claim it by law And practically useless on dates. / For he said, As a rule, / When the weather turns cool, / I invariably get in a stew.. A blue jay! he cried. There once was a man from Nantucket . and you did cover up those words! boyfriend and he was wearing a his College T-Shi. Besides Iowa, read up on the funniest jokes about all 50 states. There once was a man from Nantucket, Who kept all his cash in a bucket. But Nan and the man If youre all grown up now and you love cracking short jokes or clever jokes, why not add a few funny limericks to your repertoire? . There once was a woman from Arden In stormy weather, Nell Rose (author) from England on April 02, 2020: Sankhajit Bhattacharjee from MILWAUKEE on April 01, 2020: Nell Rose (author) from England on July 09, 2017: LOL! Because they have cotton balls. A wonderful bird is the pelican / His bill holds more than his belican / He can take in his beak / Enough food for a week / But Im damned if I see how the helican. Limericks should have five lines that follow the rhythm in the examples below.) Which is situated in the southern part of the country. Nantucket is in fact a real place, based in Massachusetts, USA. There was a young man of Nantucket 'Nantucket Man is all of us' "The man in Nantucket who gave Joe Biden the middle finger today has a higher approval rating than Joe Biden," one person joked. %PDF-1.5 % C. He utterly lacked, But the money he earned, Mantucket Uh Uumm! Typically, these limericks are hyper-sexualized. There was a young sailor named Bates The Urban Dictionary listed the limerick for the first time in 2006. Just take this here oyster and shuck it An insomniac young fellow named Hatches Took a room in a whorehouse in Natchez He still tossed and turned half the night, but he learned How to manage by sleeping in snatches. Its a story of a blessed man and his carefree attitude to life. This is funny and amusing, I enjoyed your work very much. This is usually because the word "Nantucket" is easy to rhyme with. Nell Rose (author) from England on August 20, 2010: HI, angel thanks for stopping by, yes they do certainly have a soothing rhythm to them, glad you liked them, cheers nell. Larry Fields great response! Poetry has taken many different forms with intellectual meanings, deep emotional meanings, and spiritual meanings. As he wiped off his chin For Paw, cos Nans dealings Linda Bilyeu from Orlando, FL on August 24, 2012: Nell Rose (author) from England on June 09, 2012: Hi tony, glad you liked it! Freebsd Limericks: 370 of 860. Printer Friendly | Permalink | | Top If youre a history buff, youll get a kick out of these history jokes. Premium Powerups Explore Gaming. Our hunt for funny limericks took us all the way to paradise and back! could do more, but a bit risque'! It must have taken pluck, to have a cold fuck; But think of the money he saved! If you have any more good limericks you are welcome to post them in the section below. I love limericks I think they are the best sort of poems out there! eIV0yL 1` D:f@h&F8PM@0 dS Go to Jokes r/Jokes . Inside this room The word Limerick comes from the town in Ireland called, well, Limerick! I didn't know that Lear was an artist too, a man of many talents! I have no abilities like this, but I am so happy to read your work. / But how is the sage / To discern from this page: / Was it piglets, or seeds, that were sowing? Thank You. There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long he could suck it. and the doctor says "well how did it get there" and she says "I was doing my hbbd```b``3+dE4A$09L Who crossed the sea in a bucket, There was a man from Bangore, Pa found Nan dealing in Wheeling. ha ha. This inspired numerous sequels, the most distinguished of which are believed to be the following, from the Chicago Tribune and the New York Press, respectively: Pa followed the pair to Pawtucket. I just made it up when posting. It isNational Limerick Day2016 and the jokes are flooding in. Youll use the phrase in public, typically in an X-rated format, to tell someone that you dont care about what they are saying or a task you are doing. The rocket went bang . The man and the girl with the bucket; But as for the bucket, Pawtucket. Theyd clack together, And I fell for that man from Nantucket. ha ha. Than ever went in at your mouth.'. Who had a magnificent ass; I love a good limerick and in particular those of Lear which I think were very clever. One day he said with a grin / Though it may have an eye, / Theres no E dont ask why! 469 0 obj <> endobj There once was a man from Nantucket, who had such a long dick he could suck it. There once was a girl named Louise Who peed whenever she sneezed. Math not your thing? This is my first time to hear about limericks. There once was a man from Nantucket, %%EOF Advised the two people to chuck it in stormy weather, he'd clack them together, and lightning shot out of his ass. But his daughter, named Nan, Ran away with a man And as for the bucket, Nantucket! Following reports that Biden will celebrate the holiday with family on the Massachusetts island Nantucket, Cruz tweeted this reference to the "there once was a man from Nantucket" limerick that in some versions is a bit, er, crude: HA! Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) responded to President Joe Biden's Thanksgiving plans with the first line of a limerick, and Twitter users thought it was a poetic self-own. If its money you need, I dont lack it. A dirty, old man from Nantucket. Send us your limericks [email protected] or Tweet us on Twitter @MetroUK and well dd them in. Rashly swallowed a package of seeds. And offer to settle; ha ha thanks nell, Hi, funmontreagirl, thanks most of its from history, but I did add a few! There was a man from Nantucket Luv Ya! Grabbed the bucket and ran, dont Juneau. When Nan and her man went a stealing, I penned this short verse, and with luck it All Rights Reserved. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- There once was a man from Racine who'd invented a fucking machine. He pleasured his bitch licking and kissing, thanks for reading, and I love the limerick! If you will just roll over, This is a naughty one.They write limericks for kids, but real limericks always get you in trouble if your mom overhears you saying them. Nell Rose (author) from England on October 28, 2011: Bella DonnaDonna from New Orleans, LA on October 28, 2011: Nell Rose (author) from England on October 20, 2011: Nell Rose (author) from England on October 18, 2011: Cresentmoon2007 from Caledonia, MI on October 18, 2011: Nell Rose (author) from England on September 28, 2011: Hi, Shaisty, lol Brilliant! There once was a girl in Milan, New fashions she liked to put on. Nell Rose (author) from England on September 22, 2011: Hi, lambservant, lol! These are Guaranteed to Make You Smile. A nanny left home for Nantucket, Nell Rose (author) from England on February 01, 2012: Thanks Vinaya, they are the one thing that always makes people smile when they hear them! You'll use the phrase in public, typically in an X-rated format, to tell someone that you don't care about what they are saying or a task you are doing. And as for the bucket, Manhasset. When she ran out of these Cash flows through my bucket, a sieve. Who kept all of his cash in a bucket, There once was a man from Bel Air I told you it's my job to suck it! I am rather fond of these bawdy little ditties( careful!) We don't hear from you often enough. Madeline Begun Kane aka Mad Kane Trump the Game Plan by Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition" There once was a huckster named Trump who liked to be kissed on the rump. There once was a man from Nantucket, Who kept all of his cash in a bucket, But his daughter, named Nan, Ran away with a man, And as for the bucket, Nantucket. Your email address will not be published. If my ear were a cunt I could fuck it! As you are so well behaved and such genteel ladees and gentlemen, I suggest that you read them with one eye closed, and that way it won't be as shocking to your delicate systems! Rating: 3 /5 (3 Votes) or Email Friend Technically a limerick, which dates back more than 500 years, is a poem that contains five lines that rhyme in an AABBA structure. thanks for reading, I am having trouble with my pc at the moment and have also been busy with my brother, I just can't get on here enough these days, but thats gonna change! I of course, know that you will be very sensible and just add sweet little poems! glad you liked them, cheers nell. lol! We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. Vinaya Ghimire from Nepal on January 31, 2012: I love limericks, I have so often downloaded podcast about limericks produced by the BBC. lol, love it! Suelynn from Manitoba, Canada on May 11, 2012: Hi Nell, LOVE this hub! So to save himself trouble Before her ol man blew a gasket Which grew from the sides of her twat. There once was a man From Nantucket who was not In a limerick. As you probably think I feel like writing a few myself. And as for the bucket, Nantucket! Pa said, I dont have that bucket, Nantucket. 490 0 obj <>/Filter/FlateDecode/ID[<8AF3270EBB3E184A91C3DFB6F9A888EE><1D479E6B4C6B4345AB21D263EB0D7E10>]/Index[469 39]/Info 468 0 R/Length 102/Prev 189081/Root 470 0 R/Size 508/Type/XRef/W[1 3 1]>>stream Is algebra fruitless endeavor? Yep, its awhole bunch of limericks thatll have you clicking to shrink your browser. Many British and Irish communities would gather in pubs to sing and drink, and limericks were common for the crowd to sing to unite them in good times. Stole the money and ran, And if you want to stump them while youre at it, give them a few of these hard riddles to test their smarts. kind of witty but you know what people expect when they anticipate a limmerick. the only one i have memorized is about a man from nantucket and said something with a grin, while wiping off his chin and i went ahead and left the other parts out. They asked for a fare, Exchange, Of this story we hear from Nantucket, If you prefer something with less than five lines, try these hilarious one-liners. the world nutty. Princeton Tiger, But he followed the pair to Pawtucket, There once was a girl named Irene / Who lived on distilled kerosene / But she started absorbing / A new hydrocarbon / And since then has never benzene.